In Love Online

by Leslie Simon

    Times sure are changing. Just as the sexual and political revolution of the seventies redefined the standards of a generation, computerization is having a profound impact on the standards of living, as we know it. The Internet has merged everyone onto the information superhighway. Branching away from its roots as a resource tool, Internet users can chat with people all over the state, all over the nation, and even all over the world, forming friendships and romantic relationships that were never thought to be possible until now. Love is indeed a many splendored thing, and with the Internet taking such an active role in connecting users to each other, the net is definitely redefining the saying "love at first site."

    Basic rules of attraction and attachment still apply online, but the order of precedence has drastically changed. Users judge each other on the quality of conversation, instead of the merit of physical attractiveness. In actuality, it is the text that becomes the physicality. This role reversal is something not often seen in reality, for it is a person’s appearance that makes the first impression, not a person’s personality. Appearance has no impact on the success of a chat online. In fact, the lack of physical importance "neutralizes some of the power aspects of the heterosexist system in which beautiful girls are given more attention and more social opportunities (Clark 1998)."

    Along with reshaping common societal standards, cyberspace is also attempting to reform social structures and practices by modernizing them to fit the ever-changing technological times. As much as teenagers seem to be steering away from the practice of actual dating, cyberdating is an activity that is steadily rising in popularity. Because physical appearance is ignored and virtually impossible to actualize online, any physical inadequacies that the user may possess in reality are overlooked, leading to peer acceptance based on verbal skill, intelligence, and personality. Because written communication is imperative online, it enables some users, teenagers especially, "to properly express aspects of their personality that ‘social inhibition’ would want them to extinguish (Clark 1998)."

    Some users make wonderful and worthwhile connections online, but sometimes the initial meetings are difficult to attain. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of matchmaking centers located online that promise to set you up with your perfect cybermate. Again, these agencies promise to assess people based on personality and positive characteristics, not appearance. While images of attractive people reclining on palm trees fill the backdrops of these sites, the text is of a more intellectual pretense, with the mission of these sites being to unite people that "share higher ideals, morals, and expectations than the average person (http://www.club10.com/)." Meet-A-Mate Personal Introduction Service prides on the ideal that "We match people based on personality, not just looks (http://www.meetamate.com/)." Nothing is foolproof in the quest for your cybermate, but these services are indeed ranking personality first as factor when judging compatibility.

    It has always been said that love knows no bound, and with all of the possibilities that the Internet has to offer, this saying loses no meaning in the HTML translation. However, with all of the connections to the actual, cyberspace seems to simply be an extension of reality. Personality and intellect may take the place of physicality and appearance in relation to first impressions, but society’s standards of living are still apparent no matter the medium. Does the Internet have the power to influence, and perhaps change the rigid traditions and expectations of society? Or, will the Internet fall victim to reality’s flaws when it comes to interpersonal interaction? The Internet has the potential for utter greatness in the area of personal communication, but it is truly up to the user whether progress will be made in an accepting and united direction.

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